The Power of Reframing

The Power of Reframing to Shift Your Mindset

Today I’m reflecting on the power of reframing and how I accidentally stumbled upon this strategy and shift in mindset before I came online in 2006. I was still working as a classroom teacher at that time and the principal had not been kind to me. I believed that she was singling me out and purposelymaking my life unhappy with her words and actions.

I made a plan to resign at the end of that school year and was starting to learn about setting up an online business. I was blogging twice a week, sharing my posts on the popular article directories of that time, and recommending products and courses through my affiliate links at the end of each blog post/article I published.

Six months before I was to leave teaching forever, something interesting happened. To make my work days happier, I started pretending that I was being paid one million dollars – after taxes! – per year. Within days, I was smiling more and feeling like a million bucks… without actually earning a million dollars. It was amazing, but there was more.

Simultaneously, I began to reframe my interactions with the principal, Mrs. Kravitz. Instead of feeling like she was picking on me, I created a story in my mind that she was actually intending to help me to become a more effective teacher. When a fellow teacher asked me about something that had happened, I told her that Mrs. Kravitz was only looking out for me and was disappointed that I wasn’t reaching my full potential.

Everything changed overnight! Mrs. Kravitz began saying positive things about me, behind my back at first and finally in front of the other teachers. At a Staff meeting, she told everyone that she had visited my classroom and was impressed at how I was delivering a math lesson to my 5th graders. Everyone was in shock, especially me.

Whatever situation you are going through right now, see how you can reframe it so no one is wrong or to blame and everyone is right and on track. I began taking full responsibility for everything that occurred in my life and have continued to do so to this day, thanks to the power of reframing in my life experience.

Thought reframing is a skill taught in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It’s the process of replacing negative thoughts (which can worsen things like anxiety, depression, and pain) with more helpful thoughts.

Reframing is the practice of shifting your perspective on a situation, event, or challenge to view it in a more positive, empowering, or constructive way. It’s about changing the “frame” through which you see the world, much like swapping out a pair of glasses for ones with a clearer or more hopeful lens.

Aaron T. Beck developed cognitive therapy in the 1960s. Through working with patients diagnosed with depression, he found that negative thoughts would persist in the minds of these patients. Beck helped his patients recognize the impact of their negative thoughts, and aided them in shifting their mindset to think more positively. This eventually led to the lessening of, or sometimes getting rid of, the patients’ depression or serious and debilitating unhappines. This process was termed by Albert Ellis as “cognitive restructuring”, and aimed principally at rethinking perceived negative thoughts and turning them into positive thoughts.

Cognitive restructuring or reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then changing the way situations, experiences, events, ideas and emotions. The power of reframing in someone’s life cannot be understated.

Simply put, reframing means telling yourself that your thoughts/feelings are wrong by reminding yourself of all the evidence. Example: if I’m scared of spiders, I will remind myself that where I live in the US, spiders usually don’t cause serious harm to people, and that they help to control other pests.

You’ve probably reframed something before, like when a friend asks you for advice and you caution them to “step back and look at the bigger picture” or to “think about it from the other side.” Those responses are both ways people can reframe someone’s outlook to encourage someone to achieve a different outlook.

A strategy for positive reframing involves thinking about a negative or challenging situation in a more positive way. This could involve thinking about a benefit or an upside to a negative situation that you had not considered.

Step 1: Identify the Problem. … The first step in reframing is recognizing the situation or thought that feels negative, limiting, or problematic. This could be a belief (“I’m not good at this”), a recurring pattern (“I always procrastinate’),  a difficult situation (“This project is too overwhelming) or a relationship (The boss always picks on me”) Clearly defining the problem helps bring it into focus, making it easier to address.

Example: “I feel stuck in my career and believe I’ll never move forward.”

Step 2: Separate Intention from Behavior. … Often, behaviors or thoughts that seem problematic have a deeper, often positive intention behind them. This step is about separating the “what” (the behavior or thought) from the “why” (the intention). Ask yourself what purpose or need the behavior or thought might be fulfilling.

Example: You might procrastinate on tasks because your intention is to avoid failure or protect yourself from stress. By separating the intention from the behavior, you can acknowledge the need (e.g., safety, success) without being stuck in the unhelpful behavior.

Step 3: Discover the Positive Intent. … Every behavior, no matter how unhelpful it may seem, often has a positive intent at its core. It could be to keep you safe, avoid embarrassment, or preserve energy. By uncovering this intent, you create a foundation for change.

Example: Procrastination might stem from a desire to do a task perfectly, which reflects a positive intent to produce quality work.

Step 4: Find Alternative Behaviors. … Now that you have identified the positive intent, brainstorm alternative thoughts or actions that fulfill the same need but in a healthier or more productive way. This step involves getting creative and looking for solutions that align with your goals.

Example: Instead of procrastinating, you could schedule short, focused work sessions that allow for high-quality results without the pressure of perfectionism.

Step 5: Check for Secondary Gain. … Sometimes, old behaviors or perspectives provide hidden benefits (secondary gains) that make them harder to let go of. Ask yourself if the behavior or thought you want to change provides any unintended rewards, like attention, sympathy, or an excuse to avoid risk. Acknowledge these gains and determine if the new behavior can meet those needs as well.

Example: Procrastination might allow you to justify not taking risks, avoiding potential criticism. In this case, your new behavior must address your fear of criticism to be successful.

Step 6: Integrate and Test… Finally, try out the reframe in real life. Actively adopt the new perspective or behavior and observe how it impacts your emotions and outcomes. This step might involve practicing your new behavior in small, manageable ways until it feels natural. Pay attention to any resistance or unintended consequences and make adjustments as needed.

Example: Begin using ‘Deep Work’ and the Pomodoro technique to break work into smaller chunks. Reflect on how this feels compared to procrastinating and adjust your strategy as necessary.

By now, I hope you can see that the power of reframing can be life-changing.

I’m bestselling USA Today and Wall Street Journal author Connie Ragen Green, letting go of my past in real time and moving forward with the strategy of ‘Power of Reframing’ and mentoring others to do the same to achieve their goals and create a “Lifestyle by Design” that makes sense for them. Perhaps my Monthly Mentoring Program is right for you.