Our Imperfect World Makes Sense

Why Our Imperfect World Makes Perfect Sense

Welcome to our imperfect world. Relax, it’s going to be all right. You see, imperfections are not a bad thing. In fact, imperfections are a good thing. They can cause growth and laughter. They can make you a more authentic person. They can be things of beauty and they can empower and grow self-confidence. Not too shabby for something that the majority of the world tries to avoid.

The Reality of Imperfection in Our Imperfect World

Take a look around you. A cursory examination of your surroundings will quickly reveal that we live in an imperfect world. There are flaws in everything. Very few things work as planned. The world is full of cracks, dents and things that didn’t work out as planned. So, if what we can sense is actually imperfect, where does that leave our idea of perfection?

See, a lot of us spend a lot of time trying to be perfect when the reality is that perfection, as we define it, is a pipe dream. There is no such thing as perfect. It is unattainable. At best, it is an ideal. At worst, it is cruel lie that prevents many people from living complete and full lives. The fact that perfection doesn’t exist, but imperfection is tangible and real is a lesson for us all – a lesson that we should take to heart. Let’s discuss the reality of imperfection and how we can use that reality to benefit ourselves and those around us.

We Are All Flawed

We are all human. Therefore, we are not perfect. You’ve heard the saying “You’re only human” before, right? Well, that statement encapsulates everything that is natural in imperfection and everything that is unnatural in chasing perfection. Being human is messy. It’s about making mistakes and, hopefully, learning from those mistakes. Being human is about using imperfection as a motive force for positive change. We will still be flawed as we are now after those changes are in place. The difference is that we will be better people, as opposed to perfect people.

Perfection, or the chase for perfection, is a divisive process. When looking for perfection we tend to see differences between people and things. We tend to categorize people and things. These perceived differences and categories allow us to then value people and things differently based on perception. In reality, we are all the same. We all have the same ability to err and falter. When we see ourselves in this light, we begin to come together. We see the commonality that all of us share. When embracing our imperfections, we are far more likely to forgive and we are far less likely to judge. The flaws in all of us allow all of us to relate to each other. In this way, our shared imperfections are actually positive.

How to Embrace Perfection

The key to happiness doesn’t lie in attaining perfection. Instead, real happiness comes from accepting who you are. In order to truly accept yourself, you have to be willing to also accept your imperfections. You need to honestly embrace those imperfections as an essential part of the real you. In order to accomplish this, you need to begin viewing your imperfections differently. You need to see them as things that make you unique, beautiful and strong. In this section we’re going to show you how to begin taking the steps to embrace your imperfections as the wonderful things that they really are.

The first step is to internalize that you are only human. You are a human being and like all human beings you are prone to make mistakes. You are not different than everybody else. You are not above everybody else. You are exactly like all of your fellow travelers on this planet. You make mistakes. Things get complicated. Things get messy. Things need to be fixed after they get broken. It’s all ok. It’s all a part of life. Accept yourself as human. You are not perfect. You will never be perfect. Perfection is an ideal and like all ideals, it’s a little bit of a fairy tale. Believing in something that is inherently untrue can only cause unhappiness and disruption. These are not goals that you want to achieve. You goals are to be happy, healthy and content. In order to achieve these healthy goals, you first have to give up the fantasy of perfection and embrace the reality of imperfection.

Next, realize that imperfections are not weaknesses. Instead, many imperfections can actually be use as strengths. How? By actually turning those perceived weaknesses into strengths. For example, let’s say that you’re not really that good with tech items. You can look at that fact as a weakness and use it as a reason for not getting things done in the tech area. On the other hand, you can turn that perceived weakness into strength by doing what needs to be done using pen, paper and index cards. In addition, you can also begin to learn more about tech related things. You may not ever become an expert, but you will definitely become more skilled than you currently are. The idea is to take the imperfection, embrace it and begin moving it from the weakness column into the strength column.

You also need to begin learning how to laugh at yourself. Taking yourself too seriously can also result in taking your inevitable mistakes too seriously. When you do this, you begin to spend an inordinate amount of time and energy either trying to avoid mistakes or desperately covering up the fact that you did screw up. The end result of this process is usually paralysis. You end up never doing anything new because you don’t want to be seen as bad at it. This means that you never grow. Your never develop or change. Instead, you simply stagnate.

Avoid this result by embracing your imperfections. Learn to laugh at the mistakes that you do make. Learn to see the absurdity that is inherent in the human condition. We are all constantly making mistakes. It’s one of the main things that we all have in common. We’ve all been there. Therefore, we can all laugh because we can all relate to missing the mark. Open up and relax a little. No mistake is too big to overcome. Very often there is an important lesson to be learned so that you don’t end up repeating the mistake. It’s all good. It’s all natural. It’s all human. So, step back and when it’s appropriate don’t be afraid to laugh.

Wabi Sabi – Appreciating Beauty in an Imperfect World

What is beauty? How do you define it? These are important questions because the definition of beauty determines how we view beauty in the world. It also determines how we categorize everything and everyone in the world based on whether or not we find the object or the person in question “beautiful”.

There are two ways of approaching a definition of beauty. In the West, we have tended to define beauty in terms of the absolute. We associate beauty with perfection. Think about Keats’s poem “Ode on a Grecian Urn” which contains the line that “beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all you know on earth and all you need to know.” That line encapsulates our ideas about what beauty really is. For many, beauty is an ideal. This means that, like all ideals, beauty exists on a higher plane of reality than the rest of us. It is different than us. It is apart from us. It is not us. In short, in the minds of many, beauty is synonymous with perfection.

Yet, we live in an extremely imperfect world. In nature, things are rarely symmetrical. There are few straight lines and right angles. Organic curves are not squared. Nature is far more concerned with function than with form. So much so, that form follows function, almost as an afterthought.

The world is also governed by chaos. By this, we do not mean that things are completely random and happen spontaneously. There is order and cause does precede effect. However, for every process in the world, there is a point where outcomes are unpredictable. For example, we know why clouds form, as well as how they form, and from this we can examine the environment and make a fairly accurate prediction of when and where they will form. Yet, we cannot make any sort of prediction about the specific shape any single cloud will take or how that shape will specifically move across the sky and interact with other clouds. There are simply so many variables acting on one individual cloud that it is impossible to speak to shape, movement and interaction. In general, clouds are predictable and definable but specifically they are not. A single cloud is chaotic.

This chaos phenomenon is not limited to clouds, it also applies to everything in the natural world, including you and I. Trees are chaotic, so are birds and plants and grasses and air movement and sunlight and the list goes on. So how does this observable chaos affect our definition of beauty? If beauty is perfection and nothing in the world is perfect, does this mean that nothing in the world is capable of being beautiful?

Obviously, this is not the case. The world is a naturally beautiful place, chock full of people and things that please the eye. So, if the world is beautiful despite its imperfections, then maybe it’s our Western definition of beauty that is causing the disconnect between what we believe beauty is and the beauty that we observe.

This is where the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi comes into play. Wabi Sabi is a way of defining beauty that comes from the traditions of Zen Bhuddism. It tells us that beauty occurs naturally and that the inherent flaws and defects in everything are essential elements of anything that is beautiful. In fact, without those flaws and defects there would be no beauty. In short, the Wabi Sabi philosophy embraces imperfection and elevates that imperfection to the defining characteristic of anything beautiful.

In Zen Bhuddism, words prevent enlightenment. Therefore, defining the meaning of the words “Wabi Sabi” actually goes against the grain of the Wabi Sabi philosophy. However, such a definition is essential to understanding what Wabi Sabi is and is not. The word Wabi translates as simplicity and Sabi translates as the beauty associated with wear and tear. The definition demonstrates that in Wabi Sabi beauty is never contrived and always natural. Beauty is inextricably bound to the chaos of the world.

The best example of Wabi Sabi is perhaps found in the Japanese tea ceremony. The beauty of the tea ceremony is not only defined by its simple and pure movements, it is also defined by the objects used in the ceremony, particularly the bowls used to drink the tea that has been brewed. These bowls are handmade glazed pottery. Therefore, they are irregularly shaped. The glaze is cracked and uneven. They are used and revered precisely because of these flaws and not in spite of them. It is the imperfections that make them unique and, therefore, beautiful.

Wabi Sabi is the antithesis of our Western definition of beauty. It rejects the monument and the ideal in favor of the imperfect, the incomplete and the impermanent. Wabi Sabi is found in laugh lines and in crow’s feet. It is found in the worn fabric of a favorite pair of jeans. It found in a field stone wall and in the crust of a homemade loaf of bread. Think about what a child prizes most when taken on a walk. It is a chance feather blowing across the path. It is a distinctive leaf or piece of wood. It is a stone or pebble with a quality all its own. This is the essence of Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi is not found in plastic surgery, city skylines or the lines of a sports car. Instead, it can only be found in what is natural, in what is humble and in what results from the work that occurs in day to day living. There is no goal in Wabi Sabi. There is no drive for self-improvement. There is no ego. In Wabi Sabi, beauty is everywhere, hiding in plain sight. Perfection is an illusion and a lie. In the mess and mistakes of the everyday, a miracle lays waiting to be discovered.

Self Confidence: Empowering Imperfection

We are all imperfect. That’s an inescapable fact. Each of us has our own collection of foibles, scars, scratches and mismatched parts. Now, it is very easy to look at these things as mistakes, weaknesses and imperfections. That negativity does no one, especially you, any good. Instead, try looking at any imperfections you might have as bonuses. After all, your imperfections are what make you unique. They are what set you apart. They are what make you the individual that you are.

One way of changing a negative view of your imperfections into a positive view is through increased confidence in yourself. Self-confidence literally empowers imperfections. How? Well, when you are confident about who you are, you are confident about every element of your persona. Confidence allows you to internalize the reality that your “imperfections” are an integral part of who you are. In other words, confidence makes imperfections essential. So let’s take a look at some things that you can do every day to boost your self-confidence so that you can begin empowering your own imperfections.

Change Your Self-Image

Did you know that we all have mental picture of ourselves that we carry around? It’s true. We all see ourselves in a certain way. Now, that image that we have ourselves isn’t always based on objective reality. Instead, it is based on how we subjectively feel about ourselves. If we’re feeling less than adequate, the mental picture we have ourselves is less than adequate too. It doesn’t matter if that’s not the way other people see us. It doesn’t matter if those people tell us that we look good or that they’re so glad to see us. That positive external reinforcement does nothing to change how we see ourselves in our minds.

The only way to start changing the mental picture that we have is to consciously begin making the efforts to edit that image. It’s a little bit like mentally Photoshopping the image in order to make it look more attractive. Whatever the imperfections are that you seem to fixate on when you call up your mental image can be minimized simply by looking at yourself objectively and rationally. You need to start to see yourself as other do and not as how you think that they do.

Our Imperfect World Requires Us to Be Positive

This one can’t be emphasized enough. You’ve heard about the power of positive thinking so much throughout your life because positive thinking has real power. It has the power to change your life for the better. It has the power to change the way that you feel about yourself. It has the power to increase the confidence you have in yourself and to empower your entire outlook. The best part is that being positive is extremely easy to implement.

All it takes to successfully implement a positive attitude is a bit of mental effort. You have to look at every event that occurs during your day as an opportunity to be positive or to positively influence someone else. If you are used to not being positive this mental effort will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. However, if you stick with it, it will soon become a habit. The positivity that you generate from this newly formed habit will influence how you feel about yourself. In other words as your positivity grows, so will your confidence.

Eliminate Negativity

This is the flip side of promoting positivity in your life. You see, simply being positive isn’t enough to change the way you view yourself and your imperfections. You also have to work at eliminating all the negative behaviors that have been impacting on you confidence and on the way that you present yourself to the world. Imagine this process as mental gardening. Positivity is all the beneficial plants that you are growing in that grader, Negativity is the weeds that choke those beneficial plants. You need to actively dig out the weeds so that the beneficial plants can grow unimpeded.

One way to do this is by keeping track on your inner monologue. This voice inside you head can very often be overwhelmingly negative. Be aware of these negative thoughts, but don’t own them or give them any weight. Simply acknowledge them for what they are and move on. Soon, you will find the negativity in your inner voice being replaced by a more positive and supportive voice that reflects the new way that you view yourself and your life.

Know Who You Are

How well do you know yourself? If you’re like most people, you’re really cozy with some parts of your personality and completely ignorant about other parts of your personality. Don’t worry, is disjointed self-image is fairly common and completely normal. The thing is, not really knowing yourself can allow some really bad behaviors to operate unchecked right under your nose, so to speak.

Raising your confidence so that you can better embrace your imperfections is a battle. It is a battel where the opponent is you. You see, entrenched, negative behaviors are comfortable. They feel normal. They feel safe. There is a part of you that enjoys that comfort, that normality and that safety. This means that when you begin to start to make the effort to change those behaviors, you’re in for a fight. The way to make sure that you prevail in that fight is to see your negative behaviors for what they really are – not at all beneficial for you or for whom you want to be.

Be Prepared for Our Imperfect World

Preparation ties into the idea of performance. If you want to perform well, it stands to reason that you have to prepare for that performance. However, many people with low confidence tend to avoid this preparation, mainly because they want to avoid being in the spotlight having to perform. They don’t think they can do well. Because of this they avoid preparing to perform well. The end result is a self-fulfilling prophesy – they end up not performing well and, thus, reinforce their low self-confidence.

It’s time to break this cycle. The way to do this is by actively preparing to perform at your very best each and every time that you are called on to perform. A great way to accomplish this is through the process of visualization. Athletes use visualization to picture their movement in their mind’s eye before they perform those actions. They see themselves performing those motions successfully, so when they actually get to the time when they have to perform, they are much more likely to be successful.

You can do the same thing. Picture yourself breezing through some activity that you have to perform. See yourself doing that activity perfectly. See yourself doing that activity with pleasure. The chances are you will be happier and more successful at the activity as a result. You will also be more confident the next time you are called on to perform.

Be Principled

A lot of low confidence comes from a lack of solid personal principles or a lack of fortitude to stand up for those principles. People who experience this often simply drift through life, being influenced by other people’s actions. They don’t always agree with this influence and they often find themselves doing things that they don’t agree with and that bring very little satisfaction. This conflict reinforces the low confidence they have in themselves and magnifies their view on their imperfections.

What’s the answer? It’s simple. You need to be very clear about what your own personal set of principles and morals are and are not. Once you are clear about your principles, you need to be prepared to stand on those principles and act accordingly. You will find yourself not being swayed by the opinions of others. You will also find yourself taking actions that you do agree with and that do bring personal satisfaction. As a result, your self-confidence increases and you begin to accept yourself with greater conviction. This greater belief in yourself and in your abilities allows you to not only embrace your imperfections, but also to also see them as tokens of your unique position as you.

Think Before You Speak

Have you ever heard the saying that “still waters run deep”? Like all adages, there is a strong element of truth in that one – one that applies directly to self-confidence. You see, a lot of people who lack confidence also may lack a powerful voice. This means that they don’t speak up when they need to speak up or that they say things that they don’t mean or believe in order to fit in or to deflect attention away from themselves. Either way, they end up feeling bad about their actions, or lack thereof, and this decreases their confidence even further.

If find yourself in this cycle, you need to develop the habit of thinking before you speak. Consider carefully both what another party to the conversation is saying and what your potential response might be. Remember, when it comes to speech, less is more. When you consider what it is that you want to say and what the impact of those words will be, you tend to gain more influence during a conversation. This is especially true if people have come to see you as someone who considers carefully what they have to say. You gain more impact when you open your mouth and this impact begins to build your confidence.

I’m bestselling USA Today and Wall Street Journal author Connie Ragen Green. My goal is to help at least a thousand people to reach six-figures and beyond with an online business for time freedom and passive income and to simplify your life. Come along with me, if you will and let us discover how we may further connect to achieve all of your dreams and goals. This is also why I want you to think about our imperfect world and how we benefit from imperfection. Perhaps my “Monthly Mentoring Program” is right for you.