How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything

Are You Achieving the Level of Success You Want and Deserve?

Early on in my journey toward a life of writing and entrepreneurship, I heard a saying that stuck with me… “How you do anything is how you do everything.” This quote is attributed to the insightful thought leader and author Martha Beck.

It made sense as soon as I heard it, yet it played over and over in my mind each time I thought about its meaning in the days that followed.

Was it really true? Could my personality, traits, and beliefs be summed up by any single phrase I uttered or action I took? Feeling like I had to know more, I set about the task to discover who I was, what I stood for, and how others might be perceiving me. In order to dig as deeply as possible, I enlisted the help of my mother, an aunt and uncle, and two close friends.

My self-study began with the question “When you think of me, what comes to mind? Who is the Connie Ragen Green you know and what can you say about the way I do things?

My mother was up first. She smiled, then looked away as though she thought these might be questions intended to trick her or to throw her off her guard.

“I love you, Connie. You can do anything you want with your life.”

“Yes, I understand that, but how do I do things, you know, go about doing the things I choose to do in my life? Do I have traits or habits with a running theme? Is how I do any one thing the way I would do everything else?

My mother was cupping her left hand under her chin, tapping her index finger against her lips.

“Yes, of course. Why would it be otherwise?”

I had no answer for her question, but I knew her perception of the habits and traits I exhibited were clear in her mind.

My next stop was lunch with a close friend. Shawn is as close to a soulmate as I have ever had. We first met while both working at a summer job with a production company back in the early 1980s. We seemed to be drawn to one another and it was fun to look forward to going to work because I could talk with him. But when I suggested we go out to lunch together or that I could give him a ride home because he didn’t have a car, he would pull away and close me down.

I assumed he had his reasons for doing this, so I backed off and gave him his space. Keeping our conversations short, I made an effort to listen more than speak, and to truly hear him and be present. I don’t believe I had ever done this with another human before and it felt good to interact in this way.

Shawn was moving closer to me with excruciating slowness and I was more patient than I thought possible. We were becoming friends and confidants in a way that was natural and fun.

Then it happened. He invited me to a birthday party being thrown for a friend he had known since college. It was a given that I would be driving and would pick him up at his apartment complex. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw him peeking out through the curtains from upstairs. He must have flown down the stairs, because as I turned around to get my sunglasses from my purse on the back seat, he opened the car door and jumped into the passenger seat.

“Don’t drive away yet. Thank you for picking me up. Can we talk about what we’re doing here?”

What followed was deep work on my part. He told me about growing up in Idaho and how his older brother had run away and joined a cult after graduating from high school.

How You Do Anything Could Be Based on Your Relationships…

Making a Meaningful Connection with Just about Anyone to Improve How You Do Anything

It’s possible to meaningfully connect with people if you do certain things. This can help you creatively connect with a customer, a neighbor, a coworker, or somebody you want a deeper relationship with in the future. It guarantees effective communication, and both parties are interested in each other somehow.

This can help you advance in your career. It makes getting along with your neighbors so much easier. Suddenly your children start doing their chores without you asking them. If you want to connect with someone in a way that makes the relationship more beneficial for both of you, do these five things.

1 – Ask Their Opinion

People love giving their opinion. Ask them what they think. Talk about a hot topic or something that’s currently in the news. Avoid religion and politics, and be careful when talking about sports.

People remember you when you ask their thoughts on a subject. It shows you value their opinion. Think about what they say. If you can find some points where you agree with them, tell them, you understand their opinion and why. If you differ from them, nod your head and say you can see how they came to that conclusion. Then change the subject.

2 – Use Their Name, but Don’t Overdo It

It is said that the sweetest sound to any person is that person’s name. If you want to kill a relationship before you get started, forget someone’s name. One proven practice for remembering someone’s name is to repeat it immediately after you hear it and look the person in the face.

Another way to remember someone’s name is to link one of their characteristics in your memory. If you meet Jim and he loves fishing, his name becomes Jim Fishing or Fishing Jim in your mind. Use their name frequently in conversations, but don’t overdo it, or you’ll sound disingenuous.

3 – Notice Them

What are they wearing? Do they have a topic they talk about frequently? Do they mention their children often? Developing a deep connection with someone means really caring about who they are. You’ve got to notice them. After you recognize certain characteristics or tendencies about someone, you want to do this.

4 – Reconnect

Don’t wait for fate to put you two together again. It doesn’t matter who you’re trying to connect with. Go out of your way to reconnect with them frequently. They’ll see that you really do care about the relationship.

5 – Listen and Remember

If you do all the talking, how do you get to know someone? Listen, truly listen, when they talk. Then remember what they say and bring it up in conversation later. This shows that you’re making an effort to get to know them.

Forming more meaningful connections is possible. You first have to care about the viewpoints and opinions of the other person. Then use these tips to connect on more than the surface level.

If You Want More Meaningful Relationships, Schedule Them

Do you have a day planner? Do you have a calendar or schedule where you plan out your activities? A lot of people plan their careers. They have a virtual or physical planner where they keep track of their work commitments. They take their job seriously and know that if they schedule their professional life, they can be more successful than if they take it as it comes.

Unfortunately, many people don’t do that with their personal lives.

That’s too bad. We’ve known for a long time that the human brain loves to be given marching orders. It was designed to respond favorably to order and habitual behavior. If you want deeper connections, you should schedule the experiences that build and maintain them.

With Whom Do You Want a More Meaningful Relationship?

It’s been proven that deep relationships make you less likely to develop disease or become sick. Your mind, body, and emotions benefit. The more people you truly understand on a deep level and connect with in a meaningful way, the happier and healthier you will be.

This means that when you connect with someone in a big way, you get a significant boost to your well-being. Who wouldn’t like that in their lives? To experience all these wonderful benefits of a healthy social life, ask yourself who you can connect with on a deeper level.

Once you have that person in mind, sit down and ask yourself some questions. What do they like to do? What values are important to them? Do they like traveling or knitting, or reading? What vices do they have that they wish they could defeat? What are their big goals?

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, or at least have some general idea of their response, what can you do to discover those answers? In many cases, it doesn’t make sense to come out and ask big questions like this. You can spend more time with that person in experiences and activities they enjoy. This helps you indirectly learn that information.

Schedule time for those activities. Talk a lot, and listen. Remember your ultimate goal, to get to know the person better. Be flexible and understand that a deep connection might mean a relationship with someone that’s unlike you in many ways. Opposites often attract.

Keep these things in mind and schedule the time and emotional energy required to develop a deep and meaningful relationship. Offer a time and environment that’s comfortable to them, be yourself, and do this regularly to form a strong, healthy connection. How you do anything is how you do everything, so make your relationships a top priority for excellent results.

I’m bestselling USA Today and Wall Street Journal author Connie Ragen Green, thinking and connecting, and learning, all while understanding more about the concept that how you do anything is how you do everything. Come along with me, if you will and let’s discover the secrets of the universe.