I should have known that a river ran through it. Even from the main road leading into the property, the roar of water moving rapidly had entered my consciousness. The Pacific Ocean was less than a kilometer to the west, but oceans make a very different sound and have their own unique rhythm. This was definitely a river, or perhaps a creek that was very close by. It was March of 1986 and once again I'd accepted an appraisal assignment in Santa Barbara. At that time I was living in Chatsworth, … [Read more...]
The Touchstone Concept
In the third grade I was first introduced to the "touchstone" concept. It was early on a Monday morning, before school officially began but when great learning often took place. While standing in a small circle with some of the girls in my class, a boy named Albert Allen cautiously approached. Phyllis paused mid-sentence and Jacqueline rolled her eyes, upward and slightly to the left to announce the arrival of a boy into our private circle. Albert was unaware of his faux pas and shouldered … [Read more...]
When Perfection is Your Goal, You Have a Long Way to Fall
When Perfection is Your Goal, You Have a Long Way to Fall I will preface this essay by sharing that I am a recovering perfectionist. It wasn't until I was almost forty years old that I realized this was the case. Once I did, my life became both easier and more challenging, simultaneously. What came next changed my life and that's what I intend to share with you here. It was the late fall of 1993 and I was having my final walk through with the social worker before I could be certified as a … [Read more...]
The Kindergartner Down the Road
The Kindergartner Down the Road and My Efforts at World Peace I knocked on the door and got no response. Then I rang the bell and the family appeared, smiling and seeming happy to see me. I smiled, and then hung my head as the emotions welled up inside of me. Then I spoke the words that felt right, in that moment. "I'm so very sorry. About what happened in Atlanta, I am sorry." The father whispered something and the mother answered him in Chinese. The sister remained silent. "Ah, yes," he … [Read more...]
Defining Yourself: What Defines You?
Defining Yourself and Your Life: What Defines You? This morning I was reading an article about the "C Generation." This is how young people are being labeled, based on how they define themselves during the pandemic and beyond. Are you allowing your experiences and circumstances define you in a way that will affect your personal life, as well as your online business? We tend to be defined by a range of factors including demographics, attitudes, historical events like wars or other conflicts, … [Read more...]
Non-Scale Victories at the Top of the Escalator
Non-Scale Victories Come in Various Shapes and Sizes In the spring of 2019 I put myself on a shopping hiatus. I had full closets in both of the cities I call home. Most of the clothing and even some of the shoes no longer fit me, but even without those items I had enough to last for several years or longer. My history with having issues around clothes and shoes is a long and winding one and goes back a few decades to a different time in my life. I grew up insecure. Food insecure was the … [Read more...]
Having It All When We Can’t Define What IT Is
My life has been filled with wonder and awe, at least so far. Almost daily I think about how fortunate I am to be having the moment by moment experiences, relationships, and struggles that continue to meld me into the person I am. I'm also keenly aware that I am still in the process of becoming that person, and that we are all on a journey with no true destination except for our death at some point in the future. In the meantime, we all get to have adventures and go on explorations, mostly of … [Read more...]
Why “Not Feeling Like It” Will Never Be a Reason
Not Feeling Like It - Is This Keeping You From Your Dreams and Ambitions? I can remember a humid Sunday during the summer of 2003 when I was not feeling like it in regards to making a call to someone I taught with at my school. We were a year round school and she had asked me to substitute for her one day the following week. I had initially said that I would do it, but after thinking about it for a day I had changed my mind. I worked in real estate part-time and wanted to focus on that instead … [Read more...]
How to Be Original When Everything Has Already Been Said and Done
We all want to be unique. And we are, until we decide to write or create something and realize that everything has already been said and done. So, how can we be original and innovative and worthy of attention and praise when it's all been done before? I've discovered a few things since leaving my old life behind and coming online as an entrepreneur in 2006. One is that writing and creating is not about picking original ideas. It's about finding original ways to communicate your message to the … [Read more...]
A Prime Number of Teeth
Teeth Come in Even Numbers, So How Did I End Up With a Prime Number of Teeth? When Nancy grinned widely at the other kids in class, she exposed the secret she had waited all weekend to show to her classmates. She had lost a tooth and couldn't wait to share the details with her teacher and friends. The tooth in question had been loose for two weeks and the anticipation had been almost more than she could bear. When the same thing happened to me recently, I finally realized something that … [Read more...]